Monday, September 28, 2009
WOW.
Wow!! It has been WAY too long!! I haven't blogged in AGES! haha anyways... Life is a bit stressful at the moment with school going on. I don't have much to say on my mind right now.. Trying to think of anything I have to report. For the moment we'll leave it at my mind is a pile of mush, but hopefully I'll come up with something more exciting to report than that soon enough. :) Please keep me in prayer, that I will always be looking for Jesus throughout my days and that I'd have the right mindset and heart continually.. not just when I'm reading the Bible or talking to God. But always. In everything I do and say. Pray, too, for inspiration and motivation.. and clarity. :) Thanks!!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Beloved
"Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, "Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody." [My dark side says] I am no good... I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved." Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence."
- from Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen
- from Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!
Wow. This semester is coming to a close... you know, teachers always tell YOU not to procrastinate.. but they ALWAYS do!! They tell you to start writing your papers 2 months before they are due (slight exaggeration), but after you turn them in, they take foreeeevvverrrrr to get it back to you. And then too, at the end of every semester it seems like 2 weeks before finals teachers are like "Oh my goodness! I totally forgot to give out all of these assignments!" So while the students are diligently (or not so diligently) trying to study for their final exams (that are worth like 50% of your class grade in some cases), they are being swamped with petty papers and homework assignments that are simply pointless in the real world. Why? Makes me stressed out and frustrated and then when I realize that time decides to fly when I want it to sleep, I just kinda get apathetic... which, I guess would be why right now I'm writing a blog about my anxiety rather than working on my paper that is due in 2 days.... haha.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
What is LIFE?
For a moment, let us put the arguments for and against Jesus aside and think on this…
What is LIFE?
Think about it.
No, I don’t mean a lifespan.
What is life? How is it that plants, animals, humans…. are ALIVE?
We know that something is keeping them alive because there is a time when they die. Is it the air that sustains them, oxygen? No, because oxygen still surrounds them even when they are dead. What then makes something alive?
I’ll tell you what it is.. It’s life.
How do you define life?
It’s something we can’t even put our finger on, really. The dictionary says its a “condition” that sets us apart from “inorganic matter” that includes the possibility/capability of growth, changes.. Blah, blah, blah…. but is this what you think of when you think of LIFE? Are we on the same page? Take a look at a delicate flower. Look at the varieties and the colors, shapes, designs! Look at how intricately they operate.. How small some of the parts are, yet how perfectly placed. But the design set aside..
What makes a flower come alive? When the seed first starts to sprout under ground.. This is the first sign of life.
But how does it start? When does it begin? Is there a secret formula? No. If there were, we would have been able to create it on our own by now.
How long is life? Is there a set time? Some things live longer than others… We can estimate the span of life, but we cannot know it. We can observe life, but we cannot see it. All we see are the effects of life in something.
What are those effects? When we think of a flower that is alive, we might think of bright green stems, healthy, vibrant colors, beautiful, details, shape/form, energy…. but it’s so much more than that isn’t it? There’s an element that is unexplainable, isn’t there? We associate these adjectives with life, don’t we? We say things like “she is so full of life!” full of what? Life is just the term we use to describe this invisible force or energy.. Whatever we might call it. When something is dead, it is not that death has entered into it and killed the life.. It merely means that the life once there has now gone. Death is the word we use to describe the absence of life. So then, what is life?
Atheists can’t define it successfully.
If they could, they would mention it in their arguments… But then again, the fact that they don’t, shows you that the presence of life among us points to God’s existence, doesn’t it? You see, the problem with the atheist is that he thinks the idea of a “supreme being” or God who exists, yet has no beginning or end, is ridiculous. So what does he do? He laughs at it, talks about how idiotic the idea is. Okay, so say God doesn’t exist. Then where did life come from? To say it came from God, the Giver of Life, the Way, the Truth, and the Life, makes absolute, perfect, simple sense. But he just rejected the idea of God’s existence, so now what? Well, to tell you the truth, the atheist doesn’t have an answer. He hides behind the idea of evolution and embraces that. But as we all know, nothing cannot create something, so they’re stuck there too. But it doesn’t stop there. The Atheist has still not dealt with life. Do you want to know why? I’ll tell you why! Evolution merely explains a process of how things supposedly came to be, but that does not describe what life is.
Life is something none of us can deny because we have all seen it in something and have all experienced it firsthand with its presence in us. To say that life just happened and was not given by a higher, more powerful force/being is to say that life is the most powerful force, right? Without Someone (i.e. God) or Something controlling the presence of life in us, that makes life the most powerful force in the universe. Did I lose you in that statement? Think about it. We all see and have seen when life resides in a person, animal, or plant and when it doesn’t. And from what was said above, we know that there is not a set time limit to life.. It is unpredictable. Again, we can have estimates, like when doctors tell patients they have a month to live, but those doctors cannot tell the patients the exact day, hour, minute, second, and millisecond when life will leave the patient’s body. Who or what then controls life’s presence? If God doesn’t, then wouldn’t it make sense to say that life would control when it left and entered something? Well then if that be the case, this would make life the most powerful energy/force in the universe, having complete control over the future of us and the universe. Hmm… is it just me or does this sound familiar? An attribute that we associate with God is His ability to do anything, to control the future and the here-in-now. Thus, life would be god, the force that has control over us all. But if the Atheist came to this conclusion, it would contradict the very foundation of his belief (that there is no god). Therefore his approach to this problem is he beats around the bush, asking other questions that seem to stump people right away and distract them from seeing any flaws in his argument.
I tell you it takes more faith to be an atheist than to believe in God. We, as Christians, believe that God holds our life in His hands.. It is not superior to Him.. And that life is merely His breath. He breathes life into us, into animals, flowers, plants… yes there are certain things we all need to STAY alive, like water, etc.. But life BEGINS when He breathes His breath into us. And that was when Adam became alive in the Garden of Eden. “And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” - Genesis 2:7
See how simple things are?
Yes, we have questions! But Atheists, people who refuse to believe there is a god and try to answer these questions with missing information, are forced to complicate things so that they at least SOUND like they fit. But let me point something out to you. Atheists really do not have many answers, if any at all. Their glory is manipulation and intimidation. They tweak questions and answers, manipulate the possible choices for answers, and have formed their own religion in rebellion against God, claiming God does not exist. But the atheist has a god. The atheist worships his intellect; his ability to come up with questions that seem to stump other people with opposing views. He worships himself, often times. Not in the sense of singing worship songs to himself, obviously. All worship is, even according to the world’s dictionary, is adoration or devotion that is shown to someone or something. It’s what happens when we begin to give ourselves over to someone or something, devoting all our time and energy on that one thing.. When it begins to consume us and we begin to live for it. That is worship. Most atheists thus, worship intellect, knowledge, or themselves. They live only for themselves and have thus made themselves god. So then, it is safe to say that most, if not all, atheists are hypocrites because they make something god through their worship of it, while claiming they believe there is no god.
What is LIFE?
Think about it.
No, I don’t mean a lifespan.
What is life? How is it that plants, animals, humans…. are ALIVE?
We know that something is keeping them alive because there is a time when they die. Is it the air that sustains them, oxygen? No, because oxygen still surrounds them even when they are dead. What then makes something alive?
I’ll tell you what it is.. It’s life.
How do you define life?
It’s something we can’t even put our finger on, really. The dictionary says its a “condition” that sets us apart from “inorganic matter” that includes the possibility/capability of growth, changes.. Blah, blah, blah…. but is this what you think of when you think of LIFE? Are we on the same page? Take a look at a delicate flower. Look at the varieties and the colors, shapes, designs! Look at how intricately they operate.. How small some of the parts are, yet how perfectly placed. But the design set aside..
What makes a flower come alive? When the seed first starts to sprout under ground.. This is the first sign of life.
But how does it start? When does it begin? Is there a secret formula? No. If there were, we would have been able to create it on our own by now.
How long is life? Is there a set time? Some things live longer than others… We can estimate the span of life, but we cannot know it. We can observe life, but we cannot see it. All we see are the effects of life in something.
What are those effects? When we think of a flower that is alive, we might think of bright green stems, healthy, vibrant colors, beautiful, details, shape/form, energy…. but it’s so much more than that isn’t it? There’s an element that is unexplainable, isn’t there? We associate these adjectives with life, don’t we? We say things like “she is so full of life!” full of what? Life is just the term we use to describe this invisible force or energy.. Whatever we might call it. When something is dead, it is not that death has entered into it and killed the life.. It merely means that the life once there has now gone. Death is the word we use to describe the absence of life. So then, what is life?
Atheists can’t define it successfully.
If they could, they would mention it in their arguments… But then again, the fact that they don’t, shows you that the presence of life among us points to God’s existence, doesn’t it? You see, the problem with the atheist is that he thinks the idea of a “supreme being” or God who exists, yet has no beginning or end, is ridiculous. So what does he do? He laughs at it, talks about how idiotic the idea is. Okay, so say God doesn’t exist. Then where did life come from? To say it came from God, the Giver of Life, the Way, the Truth, and the Life, makes absolute, perfect, simple sense. But he just rejected the idea of God’s existence, so now what? Well, to tell you the truth, the atheist doesn’t have an answer. He hides behind the idea of evolution and embraces that. But as we all know, nothing cannot create something, so they’re stuck there too. But it doesn’t stop there. The Atheist has still not dealt with life. Do you want to know why? I’ll tell you why! Evolution merely explains a process of how things supposedly came to be, but that does not describe what life is.
Life is something none of us can deny because we have all seen it in something and have all experienced it firsthand with its presence in us. To say that life just happened and was not given by a higher, more powerful force/being is to say that life is the most powerful force, right? Without Someone (i.e. God) or Something controlling the presence of life in us, that makes life the most powerful force in the universe. Did I lose you in that statement? Think about it. We all see and have seen when life resides in a person, animal, or plant and when it doesn’t. And from what was said above, we know that there is not a set time limit to life.. It is unpredictable. Again, we can have estimates, like when doctors tell patients they have a month to live, but those doctors cannot tell the patients the exact day, hour, minute, second, and millisecond when life will leave the patient’s body. Who or what then controls life’s presence? If God doesn’t, then wouldn’t it make sense to say that life would control when it left and entered something? Well then if that be the case, this would make life the most powerful energy/force in the universe, having complete control over the future of us and the universe. Hmm… is it just me or does this sound familiar? An attribute that we associate with God is His ability to do anything, to control the future and the here-in-now. Thus, life would be god, the force that has control over us all. But if the Atheist came to this conclusion, it would contradict the very foundation of his belief (that there is no god). Therefore his approach to this problem is he beats around the bush, asking other questions that seem to stump people right away and distract them from seeing any flaws in his argument.
I tell you it takes more faith to be an atheist than to believe in God. We, as Christians, believe that God holds our life in His hands.. It is not superior to Him.. And that life is merely His breath. He breathes life into us, into animals, flowers, plants… yes there are certain things we all need to STAY alive, like water, etc.. But life BEGINS when He breathes His breath into us. And that was when Adam became alive in the Garden of Eden. “And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” - Genesis 2:7
See how simple things are?
Yes, we have questions! But Atheists, people who refuse to believe there is a god and try to answer these questions with missing information, are forced to complicate things so that they at least SOUND like they fit. But let me point something out to you. Atheists really do not have many answers, if any at all. Their glory is manipulation and intimidation. They tweak questions and answers, manipulate the possible choices for answers, and have formed their own religion in rebellion against God, claiming God does not exist. But the atheist has a god. The atheist worships his intellect; his ability to come up with questions that seem to stump other people with opposing views. He worships himself, often times. Not in the sense of singing worship songs to himself, obviously. All worship is, even according to the world’s dictionary, is adoration or devotion that is shown to someone or something. It’s what happens when we begin to give ourselves over to someone or something, devoting all our time and energy on that one thing.. When it begins to consume us and we begin to live for it. That is worship. Most atheists thus, worship intellect, knowledge, or themselves. They live only for themselves and have thus made themselves god. So then, it is safe to say that most, if not all, atheists are hypocrites because they make something god through their worship of it, while claiming they believe there is no god.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
teacher died
Today has been a very CRAZY and insane day so far and it's only 12pm. First of all, I woke up late and was almost 2 hrs late to my first class (which is 3 hrs long). Parking was horrendous. I have an assignment due on Thursday in my photo class, which I had hopes of finishing in my first class, but that didn't happen, needless to say. I don't know where my student ID card is and I need it to print in the darkroom, so I decided it would be better to miss school today so I could go home and find it and finish my project. So on my way home I texted a few friends letting them know I wouldn't be at my other classes and asked them to take notes. The first girl responds by saying (well, texting) "our teacher died". I was like WHAT?! I thought she was maybe pulling my leg cause how am I supposed to know if it's true or not? I'm not in class like she supposedly is. When I asked her if she was messing with me she said she wasn't and was serious. Later I called the school to find out and they said it is true... our chemistry teacher DID die and we will have a new instructor for the rest of the semester. I'm still sitting here just stunned right now. Our teacher wasn't that old. She was married to her high school sweetheart and has two kids still at home... it wasn't expected at all. I wonder if she knew the Lord... I don't know. How sudden our lives can change when we least expect them to. When suddenly life is vanished, taken from us forever, and nothing is the same. Those poor kids. I don't know what I would do without my mom. But her kids were even younger than me! I hope God uses this to make sure the rest of her family is saved... but wow. Life really is a vapor like it says in James. And we really don't know when our last day will be... it's definitely very sobering to think about. We don't know how much time we have left. Let's try not to waste it. Use it for God's glory.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
better!
Better today! :) At least I'm getting there. Now It's time to jump back into the swing of things... ugh. Sometimes life can be so busy it's annoying and no matter how hard you try to slow things down, everything else seems to keep piling up! Anyways, trying to mentally prepare myself to go back to school on Tuesday. I can't believe Easter is this weekend! Doesn't even feel like it at all! Which is sad.. I wish it did. I wish we had a Passover Feast! That would be so cool! Someday I want to go to Israel do the whole tour thing. THAT would be amazing.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
sick today.
ugh. Sick today. And yesterday. And probably tomorrow. Noooo.... :( No fun at all! It's kinda worked out nice cause it's given me time to catch up on editing some photos, but my head feels like it's a 1,000 pounds and has swelled up to twice its normal size. Such a bad headache with a slight fever. Plus I have a cough so I have to keep taking that NASTYYYY, overpowering cough syrup every 4 hours. It makes me gag. It is SO disgusting!! I literally have to swallow it really fast and then chug some water and then quick grab something to eat to get rid of the residual cough syrup flavor. Oh, and I also have a nose/sinus issue too. haha. So I'm all congested. Right now I'm on Sudafed, Cough med, and Aleve... and some emergen-C. I don't think I'm allowed to take anything else. lol. Might be considered an overdose, who knows. anyways! Had to miss work and church today. :(
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Interesting...
God is very capable of speaking to us everyday. Sometimes He does. But sometimes He chooses silence for a voice. Nevertheless, it doesn't change anything about the fact that He wants to constantly fill you with His Spirit every moment of every day.
Even when my world is crashing down all around me; even when everything is falling apart; when all my hopes and dreams are like ashes that scatter in the wind, help me to remember You are ALL that I need. Jesus, give me eyes to see You in my life every day that I'm alive. Even if I just see Your hand or Your foot, I just want to know that You are there.
Even when my world is crashing down all around me; even when everything is falling apart; when all my hopes and dreams are like ashes that scatter in the wind, help me to remember You are ALL that I need. Jesus, give me eyes to see You in my life every day that I'm alive. Even if I just see Your hand or Your foot, I just want to know that You are there.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Women's Retreat
So this weekend I went with my Mom to the Women's Retreat! It was my first time and it was fun... Chelsie and I were laughing practically the entire time... mainly at ourselves, but anyways that's a whole different story. haha. Love you, Chels! So the retreat was pretty awesome! Joana Weaver was the speaker and MAN!! She was so good! The Lord spoke to me alot through her!
But besides all of that, I wanted to show you something that happened while we were there! Last night Chelsie and I went into the hot springs and I didn't even think twice about jewelry. I have two silver rings... one being my promise ring... and well, I didn't take them off before going in.. and apparently, the sulfur in the water TOTALLY tarnished both of my rings! They looked like mood rings, I am not even kidding you!! So when I got home tonight I took out the silver polish and fixed them! Yay! Now they look new! :) Here are the before and after pics of one of the rings!
- Lar
But besides all of that, I wanted to show you something that happened while we were there! Last night Chelsie and I went into the hot springs and I didn't even think twice about jewelry. I have two silver rings... one being my promise ring... and well, I didn't take them off before going in.. and apparently, the sulfur in the water TOTALLY tarnished both of my rings! They looked like mood rings, I am not even kidding you!! So when I got home tonight I took out the silver polish and fixed them! Yay! Now they look new! :) Here are the before and after pics of one of the rings!
- Lar
Friday, March 13, 2009
Girls Discipleship Group
Three weeks ago (February 24th) was our first girls discipleship group meeting. We started going through the book of Esther the following week and it has been so awesome! The Lord's been showing me alot through it and it is so awesome! It's kinda like a bonus for my devotions too, cause since I'm asking God to show me what He wants me to tell these girls, I find myself digging deeper and looking up meanings to words and all. It's cool. I love it and I know that I'm already benefiting from it! haha. And I love to be able to share what God's pointed out to me to the girls as well.
Here is the flier I made for it! :)
Please keep us in your prayers! And pray that the Lord will continue to speak volumes to me of everything He desires these girls to know, and different perspectives He wants them to see Him from.
- Lar
Here is the flier I made for it! :)
Please keep us in your prayers! And pray that the Lord will continue to speak volumes to me of everything He desires these girls to know, and different perspectives He wants them to see Him from.
- Lar
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
L O V E .
How cool is this? So today in my devotions I was reading 1 Corinthians 13, aka the "love chapter". I love that chapter! But here is something the Lord pointed out to me today through it...
(1 Cor. 13:4-8)
Love suffers long. Jesus showed patience and longsuffering towards sinners.
Love is kind. Jesus healed the sick, made the blind men see, He reached out to all of the needy.
Love does not envy. Jesus was born into poverty after living in Heaven, yet He never once envied the comfort, positions, wealth, or possessions of the "Religious Leaders".
Love does not parade itself. Instead of waltzing around the cities and capitals Jesus chose to visit the towns and villages during His time of "popularity". Note: these towns/villages were so small they did not even have a wall surrounding them like other cities, etc.
Love is not puffed up. Jesus was always humble.
Love is not rude. Jesus had compassion for the lost and would stoop to whatever level necessary to reach them.
Love does not seek its own. Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve, that His life might be a ransom for many.
Love is not provoked. Jesus put up with the Pharisees' questioning and testing. When He was threatened, He did not throw threats back. When He was wronged, He took no action of vengeance.
Love thinks no evil. He was the only sinless Man.
Love rejoices in the truth. "For the joy that was set before Him, He endured..." Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Bringing the Truth to the lost and giving them Life was His joy.
Love bears all things. He bore the weight of our sins.
Love believes all things. He had faith in His Father's plan of redemption. He said, "Not My will, but Your will be done."
Love hopes all things. He died for ALL to have a chance.
Love endures all things. He endured the cross, despising the shame.
Love NEVER fails. He is our God. The God who saves, the God who redeems... the God who never fails.
- Lar
(1 Cor. 13:4-8)
Love suffers long. Jesus showed patience and longsuffering towards sinners.
Love is kind. Jesus healed the sick, made the blind men see, He reached out to all of the needy.
Love does not envy. Jesus was born into poverty after living in Heaven, yet He never once envied the comfort, positions, wealth, or possessions of the "Religious Leaders".
Love does not parade itself. Instead of waltzing around the cities and capitals Jesus chose to visit the towns and villages during His time of "popularity". Note: these towns/villages were so small they did not even have a wall surrounding them like other cities, etc.
Love is not puffed up. Jesus was always humble.
Love is not rude. Jesus had compassion for the lost and would stoop to whatever level necessary to reach them.
Love does not seek its own. Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve, that His life might be a ransom for many.
Love is not provoked. Jesus put up with the Pharisees' questioning and testing. When He was threatened, He did not throw threats back. When He was wronged, He took no action of vengeance.
Love thinks no evil. He was the only sinless Man.
Love rejoices in the truth. "For the joy that was set before Him, He endured..." Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Bringing the Truth to the lost and giving them Life was His joy.
Love bears all things. He bore the weight of our sins.
Love believes all things. He had faith in His Father's plan of redemption. He said, "Not My will, but Your will be done."
Love hopes all things. He died for ALL to have a chance.
Love endures all things. He endured the cross, despising the shame.
Love NEVER fails. He is our God. The God who saves, the God who redeems... the God who never fails.
- Lar
Monday, March 9, 2009
God is Amazing
I love how God chases us down and rescues us from drowning in our sorrows. I love how He answers our calls to act, how He intervenes on our behalf... simply because He can't stand there and do nothing. I absolutely love that character trait in Him. To think that He is constantly, actively pursuing us. And He will never grow tired or weary in doing so. There is a song by a band called Red and it describes this attribute of God so perfectly. Here are the lyrics... I hope they inspire you as they did me!
"Forever"
I try to run, I try to hide from a voice I couldn't satisfy / That was me, Always needing more / And letting go of all I had before / Cause it feels like the end / A wound that I can't mend / I just can't fight fight any longer / You waited 'til I sobered / You came when You knew that the game was over / I didn't even want to be found
But you chased me down and broke in just when / I was done believing / Spun me 'round so close now / I can feel you breathing / Sunlight burns inside and / I feel so alive and / Help me now, tell me how / How can this last forever, forever
I ignored the signs, opened every door / But I couldn't find what I searched for / I try to fight but I turn and run / Every move I make is the wrong one / You patiently wait for my next mistake / I know it won't be much longer / You waited 'til I sobered / You came when You knew that the game was over / I didn't even want to be found
But you chased me down and broke in just when / I was done believing / Spun me 'round so close now / I can feel you breathing / Sunlight burns inside and / I feel so alive and / Help me now, tell me how / How can this last forever
You gave me so much more / Than I could ever ask for / But I turned and followed / A road that left me hollow / And still you waited for me to come back home / You brought me home....
You chased me down and broke in just when / I was done believing / Spun me 'round so close now / I can feel you breathing / Sunlight burns inside and / I feel so alive and / Help me now, tell me how / How can this last forever, forever
"Forever"
I try to run, I try to hide from a voice I couldn't satisfy / That was me, Always needing more / And letting go of all I had before / Cause it feels like the end / A wound that I can't mend / I just can't fight fight any longer / You waited 'til I sobered / You came when You knew that the game was over / I didn't even want to be found
But you chased me down and broke in just when / I was done believing / Spun me 'round so close now / I can feel you breathing / Sunlight burns inside and / I feel so alive and / Help me now, tell me how / How can this last forever, forever
I ignored the signs, opened every door / But I couldn't find what I searched for / I try to fight but I turn and run / Every move I make is the wrong one / You patiently wait for my next mistake / I know it won't be much longer / You waited 'til I sobered / You came when You knew that the game was over / I didn't even want to be found
But you chased me down and broke in just when / I was done believing / Spun me 'round so close now / I can feel you breathing / Sunlight burns inside and / I feel so alive and / Help me now, tell me how / How can this last forever
You gave me so much more / Than I could ever ask for / But I turned and followed / A road that left me hollow / And still you waited for me to come back home / You brought me home....
You chased me down and broke in just when / I was done believing / Spun me 'round so close now / I can feel you breathing / Sunlight burns inside and / I feel so alive and / Help me now, tell me how / How can this last forever, forever
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Darkness is Light
"Even the darkness is as light to You, my Lord..." (paraphrased from Psalm 139:12)
I read the study notes in my Bible today about this verse and it said: "...even though God is opposed to all darkness, God would turn the darkness into light in order to find His servant. As in Psalm 18:7-19, the Lord would overturn the structure of the universe to save the person who worshiped Him."
When I read that I thought to myself, "What?!?! Are you kidding me? WHY?... how can someone love me THAT much?" Think about this today. Ponder it, meditate on it... God is so in love with us and yet we so often miss that realization as we go about our own ways and concern ourselves with our own desires.
I read the study notes in my Bible today about this verse and it said: "...even though God is opposed to all darkness, God would turn the darkness into light in order to find His servant. As in Psalm 18:7-19, the Lord would overturn the structure of the universe to save the person who worshiped Him."
When I read that I thought to myself, "What?!?! Are you kidding me? WHY?... how can someone love me THAT much?" Think about this today. Ponder it, meditate on it... God is so in love with us and yet we so often miss that realization as we go about our own ways and concern ourselves with our own desires.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
The Woman at the Well
I'm sure most of you are familiar with the story about the woman at the well whom Jesus went out of His way to meet in Samaria. A long while back Brian Brodersen gave a message on this story in the Bible that touched me and inspired me to write a poem of some sort about this woman. Maybe a month or so later, my Uncle was put back into prison, but this time for life. At the time he said he couldn't believe in a God and my heart was broken! My heart went out for him and after visiting him in Virginia as my Dad testified for him in court, I began to write him a very long letter. In it, I included this poem/story that the Lord gave me about this woman on our plane flight to Virginia, before we ever saw him. Little did I know God gave it to me to share with him... because this is not only this woman's, but my Uncle's testimony as well. God is so faithful! Anyways, please read this if you have the time. (This is written from the woman at the well's perspective):
I’ve tasted of every possible delicacy the world could ever offer me. At first it was just a game, then the consequences came. I should have taken a second thought’s advice, but I’ve already rolled the dice. I never imagined such a high would ever bring me so low. I wish so badly now that I had said no. It all seemed like a harmless fantasy, but it has all become so real to me.
Shame is the cloak I hide behind, now that my dirty secrets have been exposed to all mankind. They see me only through eyes of condemnation, locking the door to future restoration. They shun my very presence, as though I have become evil’s essence. My own thoughts betray me, as all those regrets endlessly taunt me. I am the disgrace of society, something they never fail to see in me. I do what I can to get by, but at this point, I question my reasoning in bothering to try. I’m slowly losing any motive I have left. Is there anything remaining that I haven’t wrecked?
Always wanting, craving, but the list never ending…
I long for a way out, but I seem to have lost my way to any other route. From one experience to another, I seek a remedy, but everything turns out to be just another enemy. No matter how much I hope, I’m always being let down. I have to find a way to cope, the answer must be found. Was the cost worth my reputation? It has only brought an abundance of devastation. I’m absolutely empty. Can there possibly be any refuge in this tragedy?
I’m miserable beyond description with an unquenchable thirst that I can no longer deny… or defy. High hopes sent crashing to the ground…
Been longing to satisfy… now I’d rather die. In the end everything’s the same; I’m left with only me to blame. I want but can’t keep. I need but can’t have. My soul is dry. My heart is black. Everything I can’t live without, I lack. I work to gain, but only seem to lose. I have written my future in permanent ink.
If anyone could make a long story longer, it was me. I’m sick of redundant. I need revival; I seek refreshment. “God, if You’re real, save me.”
That day my doubts were overpowered when He met me in my depravity. The Lord of Heaven left eternity… to come and save a wretch like me. When I found a temporary way to satisfy, He showed me the way to rectify. When I questioned, He answered.
How can it be that You would come and rescue me? I deserve to suffer, You desire to cover. What love is this? How can it be that You would come and rescue me?
You offered Your hand, and I took hold of it without hesitation. Without You, Jesus, there could be no restoration.
Savior, would You be my All in All? Redeemer, would You catch me when I fall? You are the only One who answered me when I called…
Father, would You be my number One? Defender, it’s nice to know the battle is already won.
His gift is available to everyone. Jesus, the patient and kind, Your love has healed me from being blind. Your love remains, O Lord, undefinable, and without a doubt, it’s undeniable! Lord, You are able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think. It was Your sacrifice that paid the price to erase that permanent ink.
I’ve tasted of every possible delicacy the world could ever offer me. At first it was just a game, then the consequences came. I should have taken a second thought’s advice, but I’ve already rolled the dice. I never imagined such a high would ever bring me so low. I wish so badly now that I had said no. It all seemed like a harmless fantasy, but it has all become so real to me.
Shame is the cloak I hide behind, now that my dirty secrets have been exposed to all mankind. They see me only through eyes of condemnation, locking the door to future restoration. They shun my very presence, as though I have become evil’s essence. My own thoughts betray me, as all those regrets endlessly taunt me. I am the disgrace of society, something they never fail to see in me. I do what I can to get by, but at this point, I question my reasoning in bothering to try. I’m slowly losing any motive I have left. Is there anything remaining that I haven’t wrecked?
Always wanting, craving, but the list never ending…
I long for a way out, but I seem to have lost my way to any other route. From one experience to another, I seek a remedy, but everything turns out to be just another enemy. No matter how much I hope, I’m always being let down. I have to find a way to cope, the answer must be found. Was the cost worth my reputation? It has only brought an abundance of devastation. I’m absolutely empty. Can there possibly be any refuge in this tragedy?
I’m miserable beyond description with an unquenchable thirst that I can no longer deny… or defy. High hopes sent crashing to the ground…
Been longing to satisfy… now I’d rather die. In the end everything’s the same; I’m left with only me to blame. I want but can’t keep. I need but can’t have. My soul is dry. My heart is black. Everything I can’t live without, I lack. I work to gain, but only seem to lose. I have written my future in permanent ink.
If anyone could make a long story longer, it was me. I’m sick of redundant. I need revival; I seek refreshment. “God, if You’re real, save me.”
That day my doubts were overpowered when He met me in my depravity. The Lord of Heaven left eternity… to come and save a wretch like me. When I found a temporary way to satisfy, He showed me the way to rectify. When I questioned, He answered.
How can it be that You would come and rescue me? I deserve to suffer, You desire to cover. What love is this? How can it be that You would come and rescue me?
You offered Your hand, and I took hold of it without hesitation. Without You, Jesus, there could be no restoration.
Savior, would You be my All in All? Redeemer, would You catch me when I fall? You are the only One who answered me when I called…
Father, would You be my number One? Defender, it’s nice to know the battle is already won.
His gift is available to everyone. Jesus, the patient and kind, Your love has healed me from being blind. Your love remains, O Lord, undefinable, and without a doubt, it’s undeniable! Lord, You are able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think. It was Your sacrifice that paid the price to erase that permanent ink.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
A Prologue
On Thursday, February 5th, I had the opportunity to take pictures of the Chain Reaction Show in Anaheim that featured Prologue (my cousin Brandon's band). It was sweet! I've never "shot" a show before and it definitely has its challenges with the lack of light, but it was fun! :) The picture above is one of the many pics I took and if you want to see the rest you can follow the link at the bottom of this post.
For those of you who haven't heard of Prologue, they are a Christian band with five guys in it who really love the Lord. Brandon Ezell is the lead singer and does the majority of the song writing. Their songs are very thought provoking and inspiring; definitely a dose of refreshment! It is encouraging to see young men like these pursuing their passion in a God-honoring way. If you haven't already checked their music out, I encourage you to do so! :)
- Lar
Click here to view more Prologue pictures
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Reflections
This is a poem I wrote June 30, 2007... just after I graduated from high school. It was inspired by the story of a friend of mine, but at the same time, in some senses it also reflects my testimony. I hope you find this thought-provoking and inspiring in some way. :)
- Lar
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
I sense the sharp silence…
push aside conviction
embrace a life of defiance…
ignore its contradiction
I’d rather quiet the song of caution
or lend a deaf ear
and remove all limitation
than allow myself to hear
don’t care what they say
their opinions don’t matter
they’re caught up in yesterday
I won’t attempt to flatter
sick of listening
quit your lingering
so what if I risk to lose
it’s up to me to choose
living for the moment
flee from responsibility
throw off chastisement
what’s in it for me
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
jump the gun
ask questions later
on the run
refuse to cater
rush into the situation
feel the thrill
take in the sensation
always perfect until …
but the vibrant goes dull
the story unfolds
my hungering will rule
dictating what the future now holds
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
force myself to forget
try to stop the permeation
the boundaries have been set
can’t stop the infiltration
not what I wanted
but what I asked for
chasing after passing pleasures…
has gotten me no where
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
tired of repetition
running out of energy
constant deception
its catching up with me
looking back at what’s passed
ashamed now humiliated
it’s such an ugly contrast
but gotta fix the complicated
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
I took the chance to realize
and made a change today
I made the change today
- Lar
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
I sense the sharp silence…
push aside conviction
embrace a life of defiance…
ignore its contradiction
I’d rather quiet the song of caution
or lend a deaf ear
and remove all limitation
than allow myself to hear
don’t care what they say
their opinions don’t matter
they’re caught up in yesterday
I won’t attempt to flatter
sick of listening
quit your lingering
so what if I risk to lose
it’s up to me to choose
living for the moment
flee from responsibility
throw off chastisement
what’s in it for me
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
jump the gun
ask questions later
on the run
refuse to cater
rush into the situation
feel the thrill
take in the sensation
always perfect until …
but the vibrant goes dull
the story unfolds
my hungering will rule
dictating what the future now holds
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
force myself to forget
try to stop the permeation
the boundaries have been set
can’t stop the infiltration
not what I wanted
but what I asked for
chasing after passing pleasures…
has gotten me no where
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
tired of repetition
running out of energy
constant deception
its catching up with me
looking back at what’s passed
ashamed now humiliated
it’s such an ugly contrast
but gotta fix the complicated
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
I took the chance to realize
and made a change today
I made the change today
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Reality
Oswald Chambers states in My Utmost for His Highest, "Reality is not human goodness, or holiness, or heaven, or hell -- it is redemption. The need to perceive this is the most vital need of the Christian worker today. As workers, we have to get used to the revelation that redemption is the only reality. Personal holiness is an effect of redemption, not the cause of it. If we place our faith in human goodness we will go under when testing comes."
The call of God is not to make sanctification the goal of our preaching, but to preach the gospel -- the reality of redemption in our Lord Jesus Christ. Chambers went on to say, "The one passion of Paul (the apostle)'s life was to proclaim the gospel of God. He welcomed heartbreak, disillusionment, and tribulation for only one reason -- these things kept him unmovable in his devotion to the gospel of God."
Everyday we count the cost of our decisions before we make them... or at least we should. Have we considered counting the cost of discipleship to Jesus Christ? For many, this cost is and was death -- death to self, the death of their own desires and dreams, and finally, death to life on this earth. But they were not the first. They followed in Christ's footsteps. He considered the ultimate cost in redeeming the lost and paid that cost in full.
Lord, whatever the cost, I will follow You. Do not let me hesitate for one second, but rather give me the strength and the power of your Holy Spirit to do all that You would have me to do, and to willingly sacrifice whatever You are going to ask of me. I surrender. I know the road isn't easy... I know it's often times full of death and heartache... but Lord, even though You lead me through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, You are with me. The pain and tears are nothing compared to the times where You have quieted me with Your love and shown me Your devotion and faithfulness to me by showing Yourself strong on my behalf when all I've been is weak. For this reason I choose to follow You. I'm tired of trying to do things my own way. Have YOUR way in me. Take every part. I'm so done living for me. Be my everything. Be my all in all.
The call of God is not to make sanctification the goal of our preaching, but to preach the gospel -- the reality of redemption in our Lord Jesus Christ. Chambers went on to say, "The one passion of Paul (the apostle)'s life was to proclaim the gospel of God. He welcomed heartbreak, disillusionment, and tribulation for only one reason -- these things kept him unmovable in his devotion to the gospel of God."
Everyday we count the cost of our decisions before we make them... or at least we should. Have we considered counting the cost of discipleship to Jesus Christ? For many, this cost is and was death -- death to self, the death of their own desires and dreams, and finally, death to life on this earth. But they were not the first. They followed in Christ's footsteps. He considered the ultimate cost in redeeming the lost and paid that cost in full.
Lord, whatever the cost, I will follow You. Do not let me hesitate for one second, but rather give me the strength and the power of your Holy Spirit to do all that You would have me to do, and to willingly sacrifice whatever You are going to ask of me. I surrender. I know the road isn't easy... I know it's often times full of death and heartache... but Lord, even though You lead me through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, You are with me. The pain and tears are nothing compared to the times where You have quieted me with Your love and shown me Your devotion and faithfulness to me by showing Yourself strong on my behalf when all I've been is weak. For this reason I choose to follow You. I'm tired of trying to do things my own way. Have YOUR way in me. Take every part. I'm so done living for me. Be my everything. Be my all in all.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
First Post!
Hello World.
My name is Lauren and it is my ultimate goal to love my Lord Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I want to be consumed by Him and I hope my life will mirror His heart of love for you. :)
- Lar
"But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!" - 2 Corinthians 12:9 (Amplified Bible)
My name is Lauren and it is my ultimate goal to love my Lord Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I want to be consumed by Him and I hope my life will mirror His heart of love for you. :)
- Lar
"But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!" - 2 Corinthians 12:9 (Amplified Bible)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
