"Even the darkness is as light to You, my Lord..." (paraphrased from Psalm 139:12)
I read the study notes in my Bible today about this verse and it said: "...even though God is opposed to all darkness, God would turn the darkness into light in order to find His servant. As in Psalm 18:7-19, the Lord would overturn the structure of the universe to save the person who worshiped Him."
When I read that I thought to myself, "What?!?! Are you kidding me? WHY?... how can someone love me THAT much?" Think about this today. Ponder it, meditate on it... God is so in love with us and yet we so often miss that realization as we go about our own ways and concern ourselves with our own desires.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
The Woman at the Well
I'm sure most of you are familiar with the story about the woman at the well whom Jesus went out of His way to meet in Samaria. A long while back Brian Brodersen gave a message on this story in the Bible that touched me and inspired me to write a poem of some sort about this woman. Maybe a month or so later, my Uncle was put back into prison, but this time for life. At the time he said he couldn't believe in a God and my heart was broken! My heart went out for him and after visiting him in Virginia as my Dad testified for him in court, I began to write him a very long letter. In it, I included this poem/story that the Lord gave me about this woman on our plane flight to Virginia, before we ever saw him. Little did I know God gave it to me to share with him... because this is not only this woman's, but my Uncle's testimony as well. God is so faithful! Anyways, please read this if you have the time. (This is written from the woman at the well's perspective):
I’ve tasted of every possible delicacy the world could ever offer me. At first it was just a game, then the consequences came. I should have taken a second thought’s advice, but I’ve already rolled the dice. I never imagined such a high would ever bring me so low. I wish so badly now that I had said no. It all seemed like a harmless fantasy, but it has all become so real to me.
Shame is the cloak I hide behind, now that my dirty secrets have been exposed to all mankind. They see me only through eyes of condemnation, locking the door to future restoration. They shun my very presence, as though I have become evil’s essence. My own thoughts betray me, as all those regrets endlessly taunt me. I am the disgrace of society, something they never fail to see in me. I do what I can to get by, but at this point, I question my reasoning in bothering to try. I’m slowly losing any motive I have left. Is there anything remaining that I haven’t wrecked?
Always wanting, craving, but the list never ending…
I long for a way out, but I seem to have lost my way to any other route. From one experience to another, I seek a remedy, but everything turns out to be just another enemy. No matter how much I hope, I’m always being let down. I have to find a way to cope, the answer must be found. Was the cost worth my reputation? It has only brought an abundance of devastation. I’m absolutely empty. Can there possibly be any refuge in this tragedy?
I’m miserable beyond description with an unquenchable thirst that I can no longer deny… or defy. High hopes sent crashing to the ground…
Been longing to satisfy… now I’d rather die. In the end everything’s the same; I’m left with only me to blame. I want but can’t keep. I need but can’t have. My soul is dry. My heart is black. Everything I can’t live without, I lack. I work to gain, but only seem to lose. I have written my future in permanent ink.
If anyone could make a long story longer, it was me. I’m sick of redundant. I need revival; I seek refreshment. “God, if You’re real, save me.”
That day my doubts were overpowered when He met me in my depravity. The Lord of Heaven left eternity… to come and save a wretch like me. When I found a temporary way to satisfy, He showed me the way to rectify. When I questioned, He answered.
How can it be that You would come and rescue me? I deserve to suffer, You desire to cover. What love is this? How can it be that You would come and rescue me?
You offered Your hand, and I took hold of it without hesitation. Without You, Jesus, there could be no restoration.
Savior, would You be my All in All? Redeemer, would You catch me when I fall? You are the only One who answered me when I called…
Father, would You be my number One? Defender, it’s nice to know the battle is already won.
His gift is available to everyone. Jesus, the patient and kind, Your love has healed me from being blind. Your love remains, O Lord, undefinable, and without a doubt, it’s undeniable! Lord, You are able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think. It was Your sacrifice that paid the price to erase that permanent ink.
I’ve tasted of every possible delicacy the world could ever offer me. At first it was just a game, then the consequences came. I should have taken a second thought’s advice, but I’ve already rolled the dice. I never imagined such a high would ever bring me so low. I wish so badly now that I had said no. It all seemed like a harmless fantasy, but it has all become so real to me.
Shame is the cloak I hide behind, now that my dirty secrets have been exposed to all mankind. They see me only through eyes of condemnation, locking the door to future restoration. They shun my very presence, as though I have become evil’s essence. My own thoughts betray me, as all those regrets endlessly taunt me. I am the disgrace of society, something they never fail to see in me. I do what I can to get by, but at this point, I question my reasoning in bothering to try. I’m slowly losing any motive I have left. Is there anything remaining that I haven’t wrecked?
Always wanting, craving, but the list never ending…
I long for a way out, but I seem to have lost my way to any other route. From one experience to another, I seek a remedy, but everything turns out to be just another enemy. No matter how much I hope, I’m always being let down. I have to find a way to cope, the answer must be found. Was the cost worth my reputation? It has only brought an abundance of devastation. I’m absolutely empty. Can there possibly be any refuge in this tragedy?
I’m miserable beyond description with an unquenchable thirst that I can no longer deny… or defy. High hopes sent crashing to the ground…
Been longing to satisfy… now I’d rather die. In the end everything’s the same; I’m left with only me to blame. I want but can’t keep. I need but can’t have. My soul is dry. My heart is black. Everything I can’t live without, I lack. I work to gain, but only seem to lose. I have written my future in permanent ink.
If anyone could make a long story longer, it was me. I’m sick of redundant. I need revival; I seek refreshment. “God, if You’re real, save me.”
That day my doubts were overpowered when He met me in my depravity. The Lord of Heaven left eternity… to come and save a wretch like me. When I found a temporary way to satisfy, He showed me the way to rectify. When I questioned, He answered.
How can it be that You would come and rescue me? I deserve to suffer, You desire to cover. What love is this? How can it be that You would come and rescue me?
You offered Your hand, and I took hold of it without hesitation. Without You, Jesus, there could be no restoration.
Savior, would You be my All in All? Redeemer, would You catch me when I fall? You are the only One who answered me when I called…
Father, would You be my number One? Defender, it’s nice to know the battle is already won.
His gift is available to everyone. Jesus, the patient and kind, Your love has healed me from being blind. Your love remains, O Lord, undefinable, and without a doubt, it’s undeniable! Lord, You are able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think. It was Your sacrifice that paid the price to erase that permanent ink.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
A Prologue
On Thursday, February 5th, I had the opportunity to take pictures of the Chain Reaction Show in Anaheim that featured Prologue (my cousin Brandon's band). It was sweet! I've never "shot" a show before and it definitely has its challenges with the lack of light, but it was fun! :) The picture above is one of the many pics I took and if you want to see the rest you can follow the link at the bottom of this post.
For those of you who haven't heard of Prologue, they are a Christian band with five guys in it who really love the Lord. Brandon Ezell is the lead singer and does the majority of the song writing. Their songs are very thought provoking and inspiring; definitely a dose of refreshment! It is encouraging to see young men like these pursuing their passion in a God-honoring way. If you haven't already checked their music out, I encourage you to do so! :)
- Lar
Click here to view more Prologue pictures
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Reflections
This is a poem I wrote June 30, 2007... just after I graduated from high school. It was inspired by the story of a friend of mine, but at the same time, in some senses it also reflects my testimony. I hope you find this thought-provoking and inspiring in some way. :)
- Lar
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
I sense the sharp silence…
push aside conviction
embrace a life of defiance…
ignore its contradiction
I’d rather quiet the song of caution
or lend a deaf ear
and remove all limitation
than allow myself to hear
don’t care what they say
their opinions don’t matter
they’re caught up in yesterday
I won’t attempt to flatter
sick of listening
quit your lingering
so what if I risk to lose
it’s up to me to choose
living for the moment
flee from responsibility
throw off chastisement
what’s in it for me
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
jump the gun
ask questions later
on the run
refuse to cater
rush into the situation
feel the thrill
take in the sensation
always perfect until …
but the vibrant goes dull
the story unfolds
my hungering will rule
dictating what the future now holds
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
force myself to forget
try to stop the permeation
the boundaries have been set
can’t stop the infiltration
not what I wanted
but what I asked for
chasing after passing pleasures…
has gotten me no where
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
tired of repetition
running out of energy
constant deception
its catching up with me
looking back at what’s passed
ashamed now humiliated
it’s such an ugly contrast
but gotta fix the complicated
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
I took the chance to realize
and made a change today
I made the change today
- Lar
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
I sense the sharp silence…
push aside conviction
embrace a life of defiance…
ignore its contradiction
I’d rather quiet the song of caution
or lend a deaf ear
and remove all limitation
than allow myself to hear
don’t care what they say
their opinions don’t matter
they’re caught up in yesterday
I won’t attempt to flatter
sick of listening
quit your lingering
so what if I risk to lose
it’s up to me to choose
living for the moment
flee from responsibility
throw off chastisement
what’s in it for me
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
jump the gun
ask questions later
on the run
refuse to cater
rush into the situation
feel the thrill
take in the sensation
always perfect until …
but the vibrant goes dull
the story unfolds
my hungering will rule
dictating what the future now holds
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
force myself to forget
try to stop the permeation
the boundaries have been set
can’t stop the infiltration
not what I wanted
but what I asked for
chasing after passing pleasures…
has gotten me no where
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
one more chance to realize
but choosing the same old way
tired of repetition
running out of energy
constant deception
its catching up with me
looking back at what’s passed
ashamed now humiliated
it’s such an ugly contrast
but gotta fix the complicated
seconds after sunrise
it’s a brand new day
I took the chance to realize
and made a change today
I made the change today
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Reality
Oswald Chambers states in My Utmost for His Highest, "Reality is not human goodness, or holiness, or heaven, or hell -- it is redemption. The need to perceive this is the most vital need of the Christian worker today. As workers, we have to get used to the revelation that redemption is the only reality. Personal holiness is an effect of redemption, not the cause of it. If we place our faith in human goodness we will go under when testing comes."
The call of God is not to make sanctification the goal of our preaching, but to preach the gospel -- the reality of redemption in our Lord Jesus Christ. Chambers went on to say, "The one passion of Paul (the apostle)'s life was to proclaim the gospel of God. He welcomed heartbreak, disillusionment, and tribulation for only one reason -- these things kept him unmovable in his devotion to the gospel of God."
Everyday we count the cost of our decisions before we make them... or at least we should. Have we considered counting the cost of discipleship to Jesus Christ? For many, this cost is and was death -- death to self, the death of their own desires and dreams, and finally, death to life on this earth. But they were not the first. They followed in Christ's footsteps. He considered the ultimate cost in redeeming the lost and paid that cost in full.
Lord, whatever the cost, I will follow You. Do not let me hesitate for one second, but rather give me the strength and the power of your Holy Spirit to do all that You would have me to do, and to willingly sacrifice whatever You are going to ask of me. I surrender. I know the road isn't easy... I know it's often times full of death and heartache... but Lord, even though You lead me through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, You are with me. The pain and tears are nothing compared to the times where You have quieted me with Your love and shown me Your devotion and faithfulness to me by showing Yourself strong on my behalf when all I've been is weak. For this reason I choose to follow You. I'm tired of trying to do things my own way. Have YOUR way in me. Take every part. I'm so done living for me. Be my everything. Be my all in all.
The call of God is not to make sanctification the goal of our preaching, but to preach the gospel -- the reality of redemption in our Lord Jesus Christ. Chambers went on to say, "The one passion of Paul (the apostle)'s life was to proclaim the gospel of God. He welcomed heartbreak, disillusionment, and tribulation for only one reason -- these things kept him unmovable in his devotion to the gospel of God."
Everyday we count the cost of our decisions before we make them... or at least we should. Have we considered counting the cost of discipleship to Jesus Christ? For many, this cost is and was death -- death to self, the death of their own desires and dreams, and finally, death to life on this earth. But they were not the first. They followed in Christ's footsteps. He considered the ultimate cost in redeeming the lost and paid that cost in full.
Lord, whatever the cost, I will follow You. Do not let me hesitate for one second, but rather give me the strength and the power of your Holy Spirit to do all that You would have me to do, and to willingly sacrifice whatever You are going to ask of me. I surrender. I know the road isn't easy... I know it's often times full of death and heartache... but Lord, even though You lead me through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, You are with me. The pain and tears are nothing compared to the times where You have quieted me with Your love and shown me Your devotion and faithfulness to me by showing Yourself strong on my behalf when all I've been is weak. For this reason I choose to follow You. I'm tired of trying to do things my own way. Have YOUR way in me. Take every part. I'm so done living for me. Be my everything. Be my all in all.
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